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[–]Oddgenetix 5335 points5336 points  (41 children)

"We are not held back by the bars in front of us. We are held back by the fear that binds us." - Dog

[–]Groenboys 807 points808 points  (12 children)

Let's do this. LEEEEEEEEEEROOOY

[–]ialwayschoosepsyduck 473 points474 points  (11 children)

JENNNKKIIIIINNNNSSSSS

[–]Amazlingtons 168 points169 points  (8 children)

At least I have chicken

[–]cesil99 16 points17 points  (5 children)

I always thought that he said: “at least I’m not a chicken”... but for some reason the official version is that one, which makes less sense to me.

[–]Amazlingtons 25 points26 points  (0 children)

He was AFK getting chicken. Now the raid is dead but he can haz chicken

[–]iampieman 166 points167 points  (13 children)

r/dogproverbs

(Yes it’s my own dead sub and yes I’m a loser lol)

[–]RighteousTruth 68 points69 points  (6 children)

Joined

Edit: please join my dead sub r/trappedbypets

[–]iampieman 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Done! Gotta support the other dead subs lol

[–]pinklavalamp 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I’m a mod of so many niche animal subs, unfortunately a few of them haven’t been able to take off. But the ones that did, I love them!

[–]iampieman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s awesome! I’m glad some took off :) This is the only sub I’ve ever made, and I made it a few years ago. I’ve been the only post contributor I’m pretty sure lmao. I still enjoy it though, haven’t done anything with it for a while until today!

[–]welding-_-guru 2 points3 points  (1 child)

how about a plug for /r/dogboarding another dead sub that I love

[–]asyouwishlove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Joined yours, too!

[–]DEAD-H 39 points40 points  (6 children)

Yo did you just make that up?

[–]fictitiousantelope 117 points118 points  (2 children)

No the dog did

[–]Oddgenetix 11 points12 points  (1 child)

can confirm. was the dog.

[–]NotTRYINGtobeLame 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The guy even credited the dog. Duh.

[–]FSD-Bishop 20 points21 points  (1 child)

According to google? Yes. Yes they did.

[–]Horny4theEnvironment 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Damn. That quote though.

[–]Jvision23 7374 points7375 points  (52 children)

I fear no fence, but that thing . . . It scares me

[–]ThoriAm2 836 points837 points  (31 children)

[–]JusHerForTheComments 220 points221 points  (28 children)

Is it? I wanna know the source please!

[–]chobanithatiused2kno 242 points243 points  (24 children)

Meet the Pyro.

[–]Nitrocloud 365 points366 points  (12 children)

For the lazy

For those in a hurry

For those who can't be helped

Edit: Fixed middle link only working for mobile.

[–]samurai-horse 100 points101 points  (0 children)

The last one was for me.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Nitrocloud 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Fixed it. Worked fine on mobile for me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    [–]Ombrias 54 points55 points  (1 child)

    I... I can't believe I'm that stupid...

    [–]IPlay4E 25 points26 points  (10 children)

    Is it not originally Billy from The Predator?

    [–]AlexzMercier97 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Similar but not quite. Billy says "there's something out there, and it ain't no man"

    [–]A1J1K1 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    The sauce for everyone else to enjoy.

    https://youtu.be/WUhOnX8qt3I

    [–]Science-Compliance 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    That's kind of a paraphrased Predator line, actually.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QJhqQjuckA

    [–]GhostofaGoose 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Modern problems require modern solutions”

    [–]topcheesehead 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    I use this on my dog. Its universal.

    [–]PiratusInteruptus 10 points11 points  (8 children)

    LOL My big bad ass pit is afraid of a lot of things for some reason. Brooms, mops, garbage bags. When I mop a room, I will place the mop bucket in the doorway and let the mop handle rest on the other side of the doorway. Guaranteed never to enter and walk on my clean floor.

    [–]manderrx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Pits are the weirdest dogs, man. I hear these kind of stories all the time, I've seen them happen. Kills me

    [–]cansecoDK 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Depends sometimes. My dog was rescued from a drug dealers dog kennel and hes literally afraid of NOTHING in the entire world , except brooms.

    Turns out my brother (who was a customer of dog drug dealer guy) saw this dude use a broom as his beating stick/intimidating tool.

    [–]livinlifeman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    So is the pit where I stay too. She leaves the room immediately when I start folding laundry, like where you snap the clothes or towels in the air to straighten them etc. she is deathly afraid of vacuums and brooms too.

    [–]SheriffComey 5225 points5226 points  (67 children)

    "Why you gotta be a dick, Tom?"

    [–]VangeeOP[S] 2034 points2035 points  (53 children)

    If the dog could talk, these probably would have been the words

    [–]Quibbloboy 293 points294 points  (42 children)

    What would the words be if the vacuum could talk?

    [–]MuzikPhreak 488 points489 points  (26 children)

    “I suck.”

    [–]mynoduesp 204 points205 points  (11 children)

    "I'M SO HUNGRY, JON"

    [–]strayakant 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    I love how the cat in the second clip was like “whoa, doggo got hops”

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]Nightdragons_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I understood that reference

      [–]Hawaiian_Brian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      LASAGNA, JON

      [–]VangeeOP[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

      Can't jump over me? That sucks.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [removed]

        [–]Fuxokay 31 points32 points  (0 children)

        Guitar bodies hit the floor.
        Guitar bodies hit the floor.
        It sounds so awwwwful...
        I can't take much more
        

        [–]GlamRockDave 18 points19 points  (2 children)

        If the dog were a dad he'd have said "that new gate sucks"

        [–]The-Real-Catman 58 points59 points  (2 children)

        “You don’t want anymore kisses?”

        [–]javacafe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I have bad eyesight. I read that as asses. Was confused.

        [–]m_matongo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        “tf is this Tom?”

        [–]tryntastic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        "Because you're too f-ing Hairy, dude"

        [–]Justilonius 648 points649 points  (34 children)

        This reminds me of my corgi. Here’s a list of things she hates/is afraid of:

        Big vacuum
        Little vacuum
        Broom
        Swiffer mop
        Trash bags
        Hair dryers
        Dusters
        The act of wiping down a countertop
        Removing sheets/bedding

        She basically finds cleaning aversive.

        [–]Amenian 308 points309 points  (9 children)

        To be fair, so do I.

        [–]BZLuck 69 points70 points  (3 children)

        Hey honey, did I just find your reddit account?

        [–]BitmexOverloader 6 points7 points  (2 children)

        ... No?

        [–]iloveuRandomcitizen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Is that no? Or is that NO? Where am I supposed to accentuate.

        [–]Dinkin______Flicka 32 points33 points  (4 children)

        Are you my wife?

        [–]BigStare 19 points20 points  (3 children)

        Hey, back off! That's clearly my wife.

        [–]No_Scoped_JFK 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        I also choose this guy’s dead wife.

        [–]the_dude_upvotes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I also understood this redditor’s reference

        [–]freshnutmeg33 53 points54 points  (10 children)

        Your little Corgi is my spirit animal. May I request a picture, for purposes.

        [–]Justilonius 99 points100 points  (9 children)

        Of course!

        Here’s her getting dirty on a hike, obviously avoiding cleaning supplies

        [–]dafood48 20 points21 points  (4 children)

        That one comment on imgur...

        [–]No_Scoped_JFK 3 points4 points  (3 children)

        The reply to it is perfect though.

        [–]quine3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Sounds very similar to my corgi. My ultimate conclusion is that my corgi is afraid of 3 things: Things that a) move b) are large c) make noise. Anything that meets any 2 of those points scare her. Vacuums are all three.

        [–]Awightman515 1545 points1546 points  (78 children)

        for my dog I just had to put an acoustic guitar down. for some reason he was terrified of guitars

        [–]straypilot 2523 points2524 points 2 (40 children)

        I have bad news about your guitar skills

        [–]Awightman515 883 points884 points  (37 children)

        You're about 15 years too late

        [–]Greedy024 270 points271 points  (32 children)

        I once was in music class to learn how to play the guitar, the tutor interruptedd me to check my strings if they were tuned properly cause something sounded off..

        They were tuned properly...

        That's the day I knew that playing the guitar wasn't my thing..

        [–]Tjoeker 174 points175 points  (20 children)

        If you push too hard on your strings, they can sound detuned and your teacher should have known that.

        edit: spelling

        [–]BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo 93 points94 points  (15 children)

        Not if they we're a public school teacher, then I don't expect them to know anything. For my middle school public school music class we played on trashcans. The teachers excuse was that it was a creative thing like the blueman group, but we all knew it was really just the school being to cheap to buy us actual drums

        [–]JarlaxleForPresident 38 points39 points  (8 children)

        Yeah my guitar class in high school was technically run by the band leader, but he just let us go to the far corner of the room and teach each other. Great band teacher, but didnt know guitar

        [–]WildIchigoAppeared 27 points28 points  (7 children)

        My high school guitar teacher was also the band director.

        The first day of class she started off by telling us "I don't know how to play guitar, but it'll be fun because we get to learn together!"

        We uh, didn't learn very much.

        Easy A, though.

        [–]JarlaxleForPresident 16 points17 points  (5 children)

        Easy A and was left alone with friends. Honestly, we probably learned a lot more by ourselves than have his direction and classwork. We just printed off tabs and practiced our own taste of songs and then taught each other through jam sessions. It was good times. Miss my guitar buddies

        I'm trying to pick it up 15 years later and it was waaaay easier with friends than by myself. I lose interest

        [–]WildIchigoAppeared 3 points4 points  (4 children)

        Our teacher would get mad if we tried to learn things on our own.

        One kid in the class was already really good but she would chew him out if he went off script and tried to help someone with a more advanced technique.

        She'd give a whole ~2 hour class to practice a 4 bar piece in first position, consisting of mostly quarter notes, and then get mad if we memorized it.

        Tabs were not allowed and she didn't like us playing anything that wasn't in the book.

        In her defense, she didn't ask to teach the class, and she certainly didn't ask for ~40 students, but man it was like she didn't want us to learn.

        It took a whole year to get through this 48 page book that you could probably knock out in a month or two just practicing at home for an hour a day.

        I was lucky to sit in the back so she couldn't hear me tuning to drop D to practice some Three Days Grace songs just to break up the monotony.

        [–]Awightman515 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        sounds you like you were pressing too hard

        [–]TacoBellPhD 22 points23 points  (2 children)

        Anyway, here's Wonderwall

        [–]I-Upvote-Truth 20 points21 points  (1 child)

        My wife asked me if I’ll ever stop doing shitty covers of Oasis.

        I said maybe...

        [–]happlepie[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Holy shit that's such a good joke. Thank you.

        [–]_harky_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Sounds like a vacuum cleaner

        [–]Cannibustible 99 points100 points  (9 children)

        My dog hates guitars. Probably because she's knocked a few over and has been terrified by the sound of them hitting the ground.

        [–]deedee55 55 points56 points  (7 children)

        and on the other end of the universe, my cat used to sit inside my bass speaker when i was practicing.

        [–]bretttwarwick 152 points153 points  (5 children)

        It was just hiding from the woofer.

        [–]Magneticitist 75 points76 points  (6 children)

        My roommates dog sees trash bags as the devil. If someone wanted to rob the fuck out of us they'd just have to kick the door in holding a trash bag and it's Mastiff neutralized.

        [–]NoahLCS 26 points27 points  (2 children)

        Everytime I get a bag and flap it open for the garbage or recycling my dog runs...same as if I sneeze.....I'm an aggressive sneeeezer

        [–]kitkat9000take5 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Got a cat who will happily lay upon plastic bags at every opportunity; however, should you move it or shake one open, he runs off like his tail's on fire.

        [–]arcerath 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        My cat also hates guitars for some reason lol

        [–]h_oxpe 553 points554 points  (17 children)

        Dog to cat : watch and learn

        [–]thepatientoffret 268 points269 points  (10 children)

        so it was the cat who put the vacuum there? hmmm

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 160 points161 points  (4 children)

        Top 10 plot twists ever

        [–]j33tAy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I think you're on to something

        [–]radtech91 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        “How do I keep the dog out, but easily let myself in and out?” - the cat, probably

        [–]Groenboys 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Goddammit Tom

        [–]h_oxpe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Perhaps

        [–]Groenboys 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        "Oh yeah, if you are so tough, try to go through a door once"

        [–]Patterson_TM 317 points318 points  (18 children)

        "Wait, that's illegal!"

        [–]8ooo00 43 points44 points  (13 children)

        I’m calling the police

        [–]Demoulin42 49 points50 points  (9 children)

        *dials 911 on microwave*

        [–]MikeKM 27 points28 points  (6 children)

        Kitchen starts on fire after microwave being on for 911 minutes.

        [–]Wyatt1313 15 points16 points  (5 children)

        That would be 9 minutes and 11 seconds. Microwaves are the few cases where 62 is more than 100.

        [–]Lucyshuman4004 8 points9 points  (3 children)

        Elephants’ boobs are under their front legs.

        [–]fleetber 30 points31 points  (2 children)

        so are your moms

        [–]Bakemono30 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        laughed too long at this one... thanks!!

        [–]TheOleRedditAsshole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        But dogs don’t know that. They might accidentally set it for 911 minutes anyways.

        [–]idma 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        "bark at him, or something!"

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Poor dogo

        [–]ShowMeYourTiddles 56 points57 points  (9 children)

        A broom stick on the ground would probably suffice as well.

        [–]hobnobbinbobthegob 26 points27 points  (5 children)

        Wait, is that a common thing? Our family's retriever mix would always lose his mind if you swept the garage. I never knew other dogs were afraid of brooms too.

        [–]merreborn 25 points26 points  (4 children)

        does a broom brushing a floor make some sort of awful high pitched cacophony that we can't hear?

        [–]KleosIII 21 points22 points  (2 children)

        Its probably all the dust that gets kicked up. They are probably super sensitive.

        [–]madhi19 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        Sound and smell is not a bad guess.

        [–]hobnobbinbobthegob 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        That could be, or maybe sounds like an animals hiss?

        [–]HughCheffner 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Only thing that works for my husky.

        [–]Omfufu 78 points79 points  (1 child)

        Give the dog a High Jump gold medal. He dont do small jumps

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        The challenge is not great enough, I won't jump, get over it!

        [–]abbeyspencer 78 points79 points  (1 child)

        It’s a simple spell but quite unbreakable

        [–]skdubbs 35 points36 points  (2 children)

        All these dogs jumping fences and shit, and mine pretends she can’t make it up on the couch by her self just so I’ll help her 🙄

        [–]princessjaguar 13 points14 points  (0 children)

        Lol mine too. She gives that pathetic “help me” look.

        [–]Turtlebait22 160 points161 points  (6 children)

        😂😂 Beautiful dog

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 91 points92 points  (5 children)

        Yes, a magnificent beast

        [–]oongi 23 points24 points  (1 child)

        They didn't train for that in dog school.

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

        Years of academy training wasted

        [–]Wabbity77 18 points19 points  (2 children)

        Well, that sucks.

        [–]Koffi5 34 points35 points  (2 children)

        But that thing? It scares me

        [–]earthforce_1 27 points28 points  (1 child)

        You shall not pass!!!

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        Fly, you fools!

        [–]forgedinbeerkegs 13 points14 points  (2 children)

        Oh, man. That's so awesome. Can totally relate with my dogs. The vacuum is their sworn enemy.

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Yeah, it's a worldwide threat for dogos

        [–]FromundaCheese37 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Even the cat is like, "Damn, he got hops."

        [–]classicalySarcastic 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Sproing!

        [–]sess13 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        Can't decide which idea I like better. Guess I'm on the fence.

        [–]THIS_ACC_IS_FOR_FUN 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        “I can’t believe you’ve done this”

        [–]jumpinjetjnet 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Years ago when our family had a Labrador Retriever (wonderful dog!) I discovered that after kids's birthday parties she had developed a fear of balloons. That bang sound when it popped really scared her. She'd back away whenever she saw a blown up balloon. This came in very handy. Broken gate lock: tied a balloon to it until I had the time to fix it. She kept raiding the kitchen trash (even with a lid), tape a balloon to it. Easy peasy!

        [–]Hardyfan89 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Balloons do the trick for my dog

        [–]VangeeOP[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Nice! Pet tour dog for me, please :)

        [–]jimi3 4 points5 points  (2 children)

        love the cats expression

        [–]GloriousCaptainHodor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        It's the Hoover, Damn...

        [–]Dr_Mrs_TheM0narch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        The betrayal in the dogs eyes 😂

        [–]lavender_larva 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        Ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em.

        [–]blueridgegirl 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        That’s a funny looking Kangaroo

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]_uncarlo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Psychological barriers work much better than the alternative.

          [–]fairly_clever 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          It's all fun and games until your dog is drafted into the NBA Airbud style and remembers that time you tried to crush his hoop dreams with a vacuum.

          [–]OhSnapItsMickey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Dog: Tha- ...that's not even funny though karen...

          [–]SwissCheezeModel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          “How could you do me like this?”

          [–]tossitlikeadwarf 12 points13 points  (3 children)

          I like the beware of doggy kisses sign.

          [–]Shadowmoonbear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          A clean solution to the problem^

          [–]Cycle21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          The closet door doesn’t move and the light in the closet remains on. OP filmed all of this in the same day.

          [–]mc52clyde 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I once had a dog so ugly my vacuume cleaner was scared of it.

          [–]Risen_from_ash 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          My uncle had this exact same problem and had the exact same solution. It was wild just watching the dog acknowledge a power greater than his, the Succ Demon.

          [–]fullicat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          A weapon to surpass metal gear!

          [–]nathanator64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          That’s not a dog sir. That is a small kangaroo.

          [–]MasonTaylor22 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          Can any reddit dogologists explain why dogs fear vacuums?

          [–]my_initials_are_DTF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          It took way too long to realize the fence was getting bigger each jump.

          [–]volkmasterblood 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          No one else noticing the sign?

          “Beware of Dog Kisses!”

          [–]foodwrap 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Oh a fence, I better jump over it!

          [–]mph102 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          OMG that is hilarious

          [–]elderjedimaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          I like how the cat is like "WTF?"

          [–]Alias-Q 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Even Superman has kryptonite.

          [–]arian10daddy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Vacuum for the dog, cucumber for the cat. You're all set!!

          [–]Falco98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          At first I misread this as "a cleaner solution...", and I was very impressed with the eventual pun.

          [–]ennuiui 2 points3 points  (5 children)

          We’re gonna need a bigger fence.